CD 1 - Lupron Period, eSET Consultation and What The Crazy Hormones Are Doing To Me

It's getting close, I can feel it.

Egg Retrieval is looming over me. In less than two weeks, I will be under conscious sedation getting my eggs sucked out of me. My eggs. My little eggs.

Lupron Period
Today began the official start of what I would perceive to be a menstrual period. The instruction sheet they gave us says "You could experience spotting" but it's more than that, but even more specific were the cramps. I've been aching for at least the last 48 hours with no stop. It's a heavy menstrual cramp, one that doesn't seem to go away with your typical OTC pain relievers. So, now I'm just bearing with it and paying attention to what's happening to my body.

Hormones
I haven't been on the birth control pills since Sunday, and I feel worse actually. It's like the day I stopped the pills, I instantly turned into Queen Bitch, and was snapping at everyone around me. That lasted for about 24 hours and then on came the emotional phase (which I'm still in by the way). I've probably cried like fifteen times in the past 24 hours. It's very much like PMS - an out of control, sort of raging feeling, like no one understands. The crying sessions only last like 15 seconds tops, I wipe my mascara and move on. I suppose this is what it would be like to be crazy. (Did I need more evidence?)

eSET Consultation
We had our consultation with Dr. O today. It was a lovely appointment. We had our questions all printed out and since we sent it to him ahead of the time, he had his copy printed out too. Don't you love Type A behaviors? :D

We walked through the questions we had, and he confirmed pretty much what we already knew from research but it was good to hear it again. He was very honest about statistics and his feelings on eSET were supportive, and he demonstrated the characteristic I respected the MOST at that time, he was realistic. I like it when people tell it to me straight.

There was definitely some ambiguity about how an embryo was "graded", which I'm not too sure what that was about. I've heard the best quality embryos (more likely to survive in the womb) are given a grade of AA, the next grade was AB. or B. or Grade C. So, it's kinda like a school paper, but little tiny pre-humans instead.
I think this is the direction M and I will lean towards but we need to have the final chat about it. I believe I would be willing to transfer two, but only if the embryo quality were not good on either. But then I ask myself 'what is not good'? And the A's and the AB's and BB's and the whatevers start overwhelming me and all I want to do is pick out a little boy or girl baby and place him or her in my womb to chill for a while.

It is funny the lingo IVF'ers use when it comes to transferring embryos. After the transfer, you hope the embryo's "stuck" or "took". You're hoping they implant. There is a common misconception. An embryo needs to bury itself into a part of my womb to create a placenta and an eventual baby. It implants into me. My doctor isn't implanting my embryos, he's transferring them back into my uterus. Like dropping the little guys in there and hoping like hell that they find a nice cool womb couch to hang out on, and snuggle up for a long winter nap.

But in about two weeks, we will be wondering if our embryo "took".

This is all happening so fast. And yet the wait is painful.

Next Steps
Suppression Check on Friday
Saturday - Start 2 daily stimulation injections (Gonal F and Menapur)